The effects of my Russian courage were making me feel a little wuzy and the car journey was a blur
but eventually the car stopped and we got out.
"What an attractive alley way you've brought us to." I said still
slightly slurring my words. "whats the plan now, move into the down
stairs appartment of an old woman living across the street from the bank and
spend the next few weeks trying to dig the tunnel without letting the old woman
know what we are doing. I must say this is a lot longer term plan then I had
realised I think mabe we should discuss this before we go ahead. I mean if we
just kill the old women on day one after forcing her to write a note saying she
will be out of town for few days it will
be a lot easier but I'm not ready to start killing old people. Mabe we should
just come back one we have a better plan?"
Steve looked around for a few seconds before telling Bob, "Shut that
idiot up and lets get this job started."
Bob walks over to me puts an arm on my shoulder and says "Relax buddy.
We are going in through the sewer all the heavy work is done so we just gotta
blow through the back of the vault and we are home and dry. We are just going
to wait for Alan get the C4, finish the job and we all go home a little richer.
Ok?"
I was pretty far from ok but as I was broke, miles away from my car and in
the company of two armed criminals I
thaught I had best just get through this. Steve went into the sewers and I
followed. A few minutes later I heard a car pulled up, Bob and the man I
presume was Alan joined us. Alan had the look of a man who was comming down
from about three days of non stop partying. His clothes were wrinkled, his eyes
bloodshot and half his hair was standing straight up but the other half was
stuck to his skull.
"We have a problem" Bob said.
"Na its not a problem" said Alan, "We just got us a little
change to the plan is all. I couldnt get the C4 so I had to make do with a little
TNT. Its no bother if we use enough of it will get the job done."
"DYNAMITE, you brought fucking dynamite" screamed Steve drawing
his gun and pointing it at Alan.
"No, No. Dynamite and TNT are not the same thing at all it will be
fine. I just met these two birds last night and lets just say we had a little
fun with the C4" said Alan who had his own gun in his hand.
"Birds." screamed Bob as he drew and pointed his gun at Alan.
"Shit" said Alan as he started to sweat. " N..Not like
flying birds like girls just some girls I met. We were having some fun blowing
shit up. I didnt do anything wrong."
Looking around I knew this was all going to hell and I needed to step up
and sort it before things got out of hand. I drew my gun and fired one shot
into the air to get everyones attention. Then I aimed my gun at Bob.
"What the hell are you aming at me for?" he said.
"Sorry" I said aiming my gun at Alan.
"What the hell are you aiming at me for?" he said. "And who
the fuck are you?"
"Sorry" I said aiming my gun at Steve,"Looks like we got
ourselves a mexican stand off. Mabe we...."
"Mexican." screamed Alan who was now pointing his gun at me.
"Ok" I said, "lets just calm down what we've got here is a
failure to communicate. Mabe we should all take a step back and think about
what we are doing."
"Think! Think? What is there to think about?" said Steve waving
his gun around at random. "We are in the situation where 3 of the 4 of us are going to die and
you want us to think? What the fuck good is that? Dynamite, birds, mexican,
dead, dead, dead."
"I always thaught it would be the food that got me." sobbed Alan.
"3 out of 4, THREE out of 4" said Bob who had lowered his gun,
"we are still ok. I dont see any elephants in here do you? Anyone hear any
reports of a zoo break? We are ok we are going to be ok."
"Ya" I said trying not to stay on the subject of my made up
death, "Plus Im prety sure Alan is right."
"About the food?" said Bob.
"I used to love that food" said Alan.
"No" I said, " I dont think Dynamite and TNT are the same
thing."
"I knew it" Screamed Steve with his gun pointed at me,"you,
are trying to get me killed. Who is this guy Bob how do we even know that we
can trust him? I mean really, rabid Elephants, rabid elephands who gets a
reading like that? No one thats who. I think its bullshit. How do we know he is
even who he says he is? "
"He ... Ah ... he was recomended by a friend. I ... ah think he is
ok." said Bob who sounded like he was trying to convince himself.
"So we dont even know," said Steve walking towards me, "if
he is telling the truth. I say I shoot him right now and we grab the next mook
walking along the street to replce him."
"No, no," said Bob who had put his gun away., " I have a
machine in the car we test him rabid elephants comes out and we all get back to
work. Agreed?"
"Agreed." said Alan who still had his gun in his hand but who was
now sitting on the ground.
"Ok," said Steve who still had his gun pointing at me, "but I'm going to keep my gun ready cos I think there is more change of the word
Steve coming out of that machine then there is rabid elephants. And when I see
the word Steve Im going to make the reading come true"
Bob dissapeared the way we had come in and I knew I was in trouble. I had
to get out of here before the machine showed me up for the liar I was. I looked
around the room hoping that some how I would see something that I could use to
save myself. Alan was still sitting on the ground and seemed to be using his
gun to draw pictures of mexican food in the dirt. He was also mumbling
something that souned like "one enchlada might ok, as long as its just
one." That wasnt any help so I looked at Steve who was standing 5 feet
from me poining his gun in my face.
"So you come here often?"I asked trying to lighten the mood. He
didnt say anything but his face seemed to get a little reder. "I've got a
crem for that" I said.
"Are you calling me ugly?" groweled Steve. "Are you saying
you have a cream that will fix my face is that what you're saying?"
"Ah no" I said lookin around and thinking I was making things
worse but now that I started I didnt see any way to back out. "You are
ugly but I was just talking about your face being red. I dont think there is a cream to help with ugly."
"You have some problems boy but luckly we are about to solve
them" as Steve said this he looked up and Bob entered the room hold one of
the machines.
"I always keep one with me" said Bob smiling,"you never know
when it might come in handy."
"Really Bob" I said getting angry and realising I was running out
of time, " why would it come in handy? Why would you need to have a hand
held machine which predicts your death? Why cant we just live our lives and let
what happens happen. It worked for thousands of years why now do we constantly
need a machine. Why would you keep that thing with you."
"Well for situations like this" he said as he finished setting up
the machine.
Shit I thaught he has a point and also I was running out of time. What if I just run if I jump up and just
start running, surly I would at least have a chance? I was still thinking this
when Bob said, " All done just pop your finger in there we will clear all
this up and we can get back to what we came here for."
Not knowing what else to do I put my finger into the machine. I could feel
it pinch my finger, as the machine started to work within a couple of seconds I
heard a ping and knew the machine was done. As the printer started up I thaught
fuck it. Both Steve and Bob were looking at the machine so I pointed my gun
point blank at Steve and pulled the trigger. At this close a range Steves head
exploded sending blood brains and bits of skull in all directions. Bob jumped
backwards and I swong my gun to point at Alan. He had is gun pointed at me
pulled the trigger and the gun backfired probally from all the dirt he had
caking the muzzel. I fired twice at his chest and swung back to Bob. As I did
this I heard the sound of a gun firing and what felt like a sledgehammer hit me in the chest and I dropped to my
knees. Bob had turned and was trying to make a run for it I brought up my gun
and fired hitting him in the back. He dropped without a sound. As I started
coughing blood I knew I wasnt going to make it. I looked at the 3 men I'd shot
and none of them were moving.
"This is your fault" I said looking at the machine. As I brought
my gun up to at least stop this machine from ruining anyone elses life I saw
the read out which in black capitals read 'RABID ELEPHANTS'.
Shit I thaught if only I had known.
