Making the Film

"Quick we're losing him" I screamed.
"He is fast.........very fast." Said my slightly out of breath female assistant.
Sure she was carring all the equipment but that was no excuse for losing our target.
"What did you expect? If he was slow we wouldnt be here. Now shut up and keep running."
"I dont think I can keep going I need to sit down." She panted as she slumped into a cafe chair.
"What the hell? How do you expect us to get the money Daly promised us if you keep on taking breaks?"
"How much money are we getting you havent even told me how much I am getting. I think I should know after all I paid for the airline tickets and bought all the equipment.."
"For the love of God woman, SHUT UP. With all of your talking and sitting it will be a wonder if we get any footage at all. Right give me the labtop I need to find out where our star lives."
"The... Lap....Top......?"
"Yes. Have you developed a speach impediment? The laptop which I told you to bring?"
"Well I dont think I was there when you told me that."
"..............What the hell kind of sence does that make? Are you trying to tell me that when I had a conversation with you, you were not even there to hear it? I dont want to talk to you when you are standing in front of me why the hell would I talk to you when you werent there? That is the stupidest..."
"Shut up he's looking at us"she said looking over my shoulder.
"Who is?" I said looking around, "And did you just tell me to shut up?"
It was then I saw him walking towards us the star of my soon to be bet winning video.
"Ok" I shreaked "Act natural".
I sprang into the nearest chair and screamed a the top of my voice, "Ha Ha Ha that was so witty," at my slightly starteled and less than able boddied assistant. Shit I thaught one look at her and he will know I am up to something there is no way she was being witty. Keeping my head down I watch him walk by in my periferal vision once I am sure he is out of ear shot I detail my cunningly devised plan to my acomples. She is to go to the top of the street and set up video camera, while I pay a homless peson to attack our star. It was briliant, an instant short film with no overheads. As she gathers the equipment I pay the slightly over weight and heavily intoxiated homeless man. After a few tries I finally get him to understand what I want and watch with pride as he charges off screaming profanities towards the designated area. I returned to my seat confident in the knollage that my plan was fool proof and that I could watch the fight later. About twenty minutes later my once more out of breath assistant stumbles out of a building and walks towards me. This was odd in two ways, firstly as I had sent her up the street and secondly what had she been doing in a one story building that could have left her out of breath?
"So what happened? Did you get the fight on film?" I asked slightly unsure if I wanted to hear what she had done.
"No he didnt turn up." she said once more slumping into her seat.
"But I saw our star walk up the street and the homless guy followed him. Was there no fight?"
"Up the street? But I was in that building over there?" She said pointing at the slightly rundown one story building she had staggered out of.
"Why were you in that building?" I said struggeling to hold my temper.
"Well," she said slightly uneasily "I must of thaught that was what you wanted me to do."
That was it my face turned purple and I was using every ounce of will power to try to control my insurmountable rage. After all if I killed her now there were too many witnesses. And I was unsure if I could survive life in a thailand prision but I was concidering it. As I stood rooted to the spot I over heard a conversation an American was having with his friend.
"That was awesome I cannt believe we saw Tony Jaa kicking the shit out of that homeless guy. That was the greatest fight I have ever seen."
As I let my breath out slowly I turned to my petrified female assistant and said, "Thats it you just fucked up another one of my briliant plans. I am getting the hell out of this country. God, I really dont know why I keep you around. Now pack my bags and meet me at the airport............ Oh ya and you better give me a fiver it looks like Daly wins his bet."