“Would you boys like some tea?” purred Darina Adventure, brew master and cleaner of the Ab Ovo Institute for Science and Chicken Farming. Both Professor Trin Fallacy and Professor Tee Jay waved her on.
“I leave it down here then,” and she teetered her wrinkled mess of a body to the far end of the room spilling sugar and milk as she went.
Professor Jay scanned the information on the clipboard, flicking back and forth between pages.
“According to the brickwell, brinell and vickers test, ‘sorry’ seems to be the hardest word.”
Professor Fallacy crossed his arms indignantly and spoke.
“I believe my theory is vindicated. You owe me an apology Jay.”
Outside, lightning hissed through the air as a seasonal storm picked up pace.
“That’s pathetic Fallacy, this in no way supports your theory. Words that on one level seem similar can be completely different on another level.
Look at this,” he said presenting a page from his writing pad.
“I see,” said Fallacy, not really seeing.
“Now look at this,” said Jay turning over to the next leaf.
“Oh…” disappointment crossed his face, “…I sea.”
“Icy? It’s a fucking blizzard out there,” said the newly arrived Professor Nitt Mustard.
“Now the circle is complete,” declared Professor Jay, “and look I also drew a square and some sort of uh… squiggly thing.”
“Nitt,” said Fallacy “we need one of your experimental machines to help us out with our project.”
Mustard was delighted. “Which one? They’re all equally fucktastic.”
“We’re not really sure. What does that one do?”
“This bitch,” said Nitt, patting a large grey box, “is the Non Sequiter Mk2. You input all the information you have, all the data and results you have already collected and it provides you with a reply that has no relevance whatsoever.”
“It’ll end world hunger,” declared Fallacy.
Jay and Nitt nodded in disagreement.
“And what about that grey box you’re patting?”
Nitt smirked, “I just invented this fucker. It should solve all your problems. It’s the Deus Ex Machina. Here let me fire it up.”
“Are you sure its safe,” asked Fallacy
“Of course," laughed Mustard, “there are maybe two things in the entire world that would dangerously disrupt this machine.”
A moment after the machine was switched on, and just a moment before Professor Mustard was to tell them that milk was one of the two things in the entire world that could dangerously disrupt the machine, it exploded, killing all present.
Coroners Verdict: Death by Ms. Adventure.
5 comments:
She IS a wild one.
She almost killed me once.
Near Ms. was kind enough to pull me out of the way.
I have just forgotten for a moment to forget all of this, please forgive me. Here time turns into space. M
I thought I called Near Ms. a bitch once, but luckily it turned out to be a Ms. Take.
Welcome back Ike, I mean M.
Can you imagine a cunt dealer buying his next shipment? He sticks his finger in, he sniffs it, he rubs the finger on his gums, a brief nod of satisfaction and he says, "its pure."
Thank you X, i've been sayin that for years.
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