Day one of my new life. I am finally starting my dream job. I had set the alarm set to wake me early as I wanted to be sure I wouldn’t be late. 5.00 alarm goes off. 10.00 I awake to find myself in a sitting position with one arm on the off button of the alarm.
“Shit, I’m late.” I scream. Although there was no one there to hear me.
I jump up fall over one of my shoes and smash my forehead into the wall. Damn but this day was off to a bad start. I start to pile the assortment of clothing and shoes which are currently on the floor into a heap. Sure it would be a lot better to actually tidy everything away but who has time for that?
I am still trying to get my second shoe on when I get to the elevator. The elevator is on the ground floor, I’m on the fifth, I start work at 8, it is currently 10.10 but I have an ace up my sleeve. It’s a little known fact that by pressing the elevator button as many times as possible the elevator will arrive sooner. I am in the middle of this flurry of finger work when the door beside me opens.
“Kelly rent”, says my grossly over weight landlord. What little hair he has left is black and from the corner of my eye I can see that he is wearing a string vest and a pair of boxers.
“What is a little money between friends?” I say without taking my eyes off the elevator button.
“It’s the difference between you living here and you living on the street.” He says in a rasping voice.
“Not a big difference then.” I mumble.
“Rent is paid by the end of the week or your out” he says and disappears back into the void he calls his home.
Finally my finger tapping pays off and the elevator opens. One occupant an old lady with the thickest pair of glasses I have ever seen. As I press lobby I note that she has pressed the 6th floor. Damn I think I do not need this today. As we get to the sixth floor and the doors have opened she looks out then looks at the elevator buttons.
“Oh dear,” she mumbles “I thought I pressed 8”.
“NOOO” I scream and grasp her by the shoulders. With all of my strength I launch the little old lady head first out of the elevator. The doors close to the shouts of “My hip, my hip” but hell at least I am on my way once more.
10.15, the doors open on the ground floor and I am off and running. I have to run 8 blocks and some how go back in time more that 2 hours, still no one ever said first days are easy.
As I get out the front door I run straight into the postman sending him flying into a parked car. I don’t even slow down I’m late and that bastard never gives me anything but bills.
1 comment:
Nice one Kelly.
Post a Comment